He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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