I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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