Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
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