so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize