why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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