i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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