My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize