i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize