You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
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You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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