i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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