you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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