he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
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