I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I party with great urgency now.
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