I can feel you judging me through the phone.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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