you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Randomize