Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
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She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
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So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
why is half of my head shaved?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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