the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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