So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Randomize