And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize