you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize