help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
you traded sex for a burrito?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize