dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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