Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize