I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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