I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
is it fun? or sober?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize