are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize