When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
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Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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