Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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