only you would photoshop your dick
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
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I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
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Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
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