i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
are you so shy because you have an std?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize