God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize