Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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