Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
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why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
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i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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