I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize