You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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