I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Randomize