i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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