I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize