I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
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im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
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Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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