Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
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You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
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It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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