People in love make me want to vomit
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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