the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex on a roof
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
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