i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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