i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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