theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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