I accidentally had phone sex last night
Farmville is her only friend.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize