What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
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He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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