marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
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