My hand turned me down
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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