that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Use "feeling words"
Yay
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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